Baby Nostalgia

October 19, 2012

11 months!

11 months to the day


For some reason 11 months is hitting me hard.  A gut wrenching, "my baby is almost not a baby anymore" hard.  I look at him, Mr.  Busy Bee, and can't help but be amazed.  I mean, geez, look at all he has learned in less than a year.  I pray that his beautiful smile will never stop melting my heart. 

My grandma sent Colter his first birthday card a month early.  Just in the knick of time to do some snowsuit shopping before winter.  I opened the card and started crying.  For a split second I wanted to scream, "No!!!  He can't have a birthday.....he can't grow up.....he has to stay a baby FOREVER!!!".  But I know that is just not possible.  Nor do I really want that for my dear Colter.  

I have these moments this week - they happen randomly, perhaps while I am rocking him and giving him a bottle or when he has knocked over the dog bowl yet again or while he is sitting in the kitchen picking apart my tupperware cabinet - when it feels like time just stops for a moment.  I relish in it.  A few glorious seconds where it is just me and my baby.  Somehow, he always happens to look up at me during this brief interlude to life.  His beautiful blue eyes seeking.  You came from me.  My beautiful baby boy.  I love you.

Being a mother has its moments.  I wouldn't say they are getting fewer, but they seem to be quickly morphing.  Changing from silent, quiet, peaceful moments of bonding between mother and son to moments of laughter, singing, dancing, frantically following him around the house....speedy, quick, challenging.  My baby boy is turning into a toddler right before my very eyes. 

I watched as Colter picked apart his clean diaper basket.  Fascinated with his dedication and determination, I couldn't peel myself away.  He was so serious- working hard, focused on the task at hand.  I must have made a noise (perhaps a sniffle) because he stopped and turned his face toward mine.  He plopped over, crawled toward, climbed up  my legs.  I picked him up.  He nuzzled into my face.  He smiled.  You came from me. My beautiful baby boy. I love you. 

I am so unbelievably blessed.

Down in the Canyon...Upper Ribbon Falls