Cravings

April 18, 2011
9 weeks, 4 days

It is common for first trimester pregnant women to lose weight.  Nausea, vomiting, severe reflux all lead to the inability to truly enjoy food.  Total bummer.

I am not one of these women.

I will be the first one to acknowledge that I have had a blessed first trimester thus far.  So maybe I feel tired more often than not, can be incredibly moody (which doesn't directly effect me) and suffer from having to go pee 3 times a night - but, really, I would take it all over feeling disgusted by food.  I will even gain a few pounds.  I can be a real sacrificial lamb, I know.

I was thinking how nice it was that I haven't had any weird cravings yet.  No pb and ketchup sandwiches or sudden urges for coleslaw.  But today as I was scarfing down my 6th blueberry muffin in less than 24 hours it hit me - I LOVE blueberry muffins.  Let us take a walk down memory lane and look at 24 hours earlier.....

I had gotten home from work, taken Owen for a walk and was really needing a rotisserie chicken.  (Remember, at this point I am denying any existence of pregnancy cravings....)  I drove to the store (Thank goodness it is only a mile away...) and went straight to the rotisserie oven.  I grabbed a bag and, with complete and utter disgust, realized it was full of ribs.  With a look of complete horror on my face, I threw it back in the oven and marched off on the verge of a mental breakdown.  I could either 1. Drive 50 minutes to Williams or 2. Drive 1.5 hours to Flagstaff or 3. I found myself in the baking isle (how that happened I have NO idea!). 

At this point you'd think that I would understand what was happening.  But I am sure if you are or ever have been pregnant, you understand me.  For those of you who aren't or never will be, please do not judge us - we know not what we do.

So here I am in the baking isle.  And then something happened which is just incredible:  Everything went fuzzy except for the box of Krusteaz Blueberry Muffins.  I swear it was a sign.  Again, this should be the point where it clicks in your brain, "Heather, this is a craving.  CJ is not home and you do not need to make this box full of partially hydrogenated soybean oil and artificial flavors."  Clearly, there was no clicking.

So, instead of coming home with a rotisserie chicken (which I am still craving and they were still out of tonight!), I came home with vanilla yogurt, Rice-a-Roni and Krusteaz Blueberry Muffin Mix.  I am embarrassed to be writing this, to be perfectly honest.

While the Rice-a-Roni was cooking, I mixed up the muffin mix.  I know you already know what happens.  But I just couldn't foresee it.  After eating about 1/5 of the batter (I decided to completely forget that raw eggs and pregnancy do not mix), I concluded it was time to put the remaining 9 or so muffins in the oven.  13 minutes later I enjoyed Blueberry Muffin (BM) #1.  Warm and fresh out of the oven.  Fantastic.

I stopped there last night- feeling completely full of Rice-a-Roni, muffin batter and the carrots and cranberry sauce that I managed to engulf as well. 

I woke up this morning quite refreshed, forgetting of course that there are artificial flavors and partially hydrogenated soy bean oil coursing through my veins, feeding my beautiful baby who is trying desperately to grow brain cells at a rate of 100 cells/minute.  Lovely.  "I think I'll have another muffin."  BM #2.  Escaping to work, I was secretly glad that I would not be able to eat any more muffins (BM #3).  At work, my lovely co-worker Kathy baked blueberry muffins this morning.  I am not joking.  They were fresh out of the oven.  BM#4.  I came home for lunch.  BM#5.  This is getting ugly.

Sometime in the early afternoon, as I was standing over one of my patients as she vomited bile and had liquid poo coming out the other end, I desperately needed a blueberry muffin.  Please do not judge me - I know not what I do.  BM #6 (after I thoroughly sterilized myself....).  And that is the moment it hit me- as I announced with glee to the clinic workers, "This is my 6th blueberry muffin of the day!"  No one there knows I am pregnant.  Poor souls think I have lost my mind.

I am feeling mildly guilty. 

BM#7 is calling and I must go.