Baby Nostalgia

October 19, 2012

11 months!

11 months to the day


For some reason 11 months is hitting me hard.  A gut wrenching, "my baby is almost not a baby anymore" hard.  I look at him, Mr.  Busy Bee, and can't help but be amazed.  I mean, geez, look at all he has learned in less than a year.  I pray that his beautiful smile will never stop melting my heart. 

My grandma sent Colter his first birthday card a month early.  Just in the knick of time to do some snowsuit shopping before winter.  I opened the card and started crying.  For a split second I wanted to scream, "No!!!  He can't have a birthday.....he can't grow up.....he has to stay a baby FOREVER!!!".  But I know that is just not possible.  Nor do I really want that for my dear Colter.  

I have these moments this week - they happen randomly, perhaps while I am rocking him and giving him a bottle or when he has knocked over the dog bowl yet again or while he is sitting in the kitchen picking apart my tupperware cabinet - when it feels like time just stops for a moment.  I relish in it.  A few glorious seconds where it is just me and my baby.  Somehow, he always happens to look up at me during this brief interlude to life.  His beautiful blue eyes seeking.  You came from me.  My beautiful baby boy.  I love you.

Being a mother has its moments.  I wouldn't say they are getting fewer, but they seem to be quickly morphing.  Changing from silent, quiet, peaceful moments of bonding between mother and son to moments of laughter, singing, dancing, frantically following him around the house....speedy, quick, challenging.  My baby boy is turning into a toddler right before my very eyes. 

I watched as Colter picked apart his clean diaper basket.  Fascinated with his dedication and determination, I couldn't peel myself away.  He was so serious- working hard, focused on the task at hand.  I must have made a noise (perhaps a sniffle) because he stopped and turned his face toward mine.  He plopped over, crawled toward, climbed up  my legs.  I picked him up.  He nuzzled into my face.  He smiled.  You came from me. My beautiful baby boy. I love you. 

I am so unbelievably blessed.

Down in the Canyon...Upper Ribbon Falls

A Day in the Aspens

October 2, 2012: A Day in the Aspens

October 3, 2012
10 months & 3 weeks

Yesterday my little family and I had one of those days.  A family day.  A happy day.  A I-never-want-this-day-to-end day.  Just me and my boys.  Yesterday life was grand.

We FINALLY recovered from what I have deemed our "Month of Sickness".  We were all itching to get out of Dodge and enjoy the wonderful fall weather.  What better place to do that than in the aspens??  The stars must have been aligned because we made it out of the house before 9 (with mom showered and baby fed).  Colter quickly fell asleep in the car, allowing my sweet hubby and I to have a great conversation all the way down to Mt. Humphreys.



We took the scenic route along Rte 151 - a dirt road that winds along the side of the mountain and the perfect fall drive with lots of aspens.  We had plenty of "Ooo's" and "Aaah's" before we eventually reached our trail head.  Even Owen was talking away in the backseat, willing us to get there already!

 

The hike was splendid.  The aspens were a golden yellow and fell from the trees like tear drops when the wind blew.  More than once, we stopped hiking and stood completely still.  Listening to the sound of Fall.  Smelling the fallen leaves.  It was a bit of heaven.

Owen ran wild!  Chasing squirrels, catching whiffs of deer, searching for new scents - he didn't stop running for two and a half hours.  Today he lies at my feet utterly spent.  Perhaps dreaming away of running through aspen groves and green fields.  I'd like to think so.

We stopped for some photos.  Why is it so darn cute to have a baby sit in fallen leaves?  We dropped leaves on his head, buried his legs... He tasted his first aspen leaf.  He seemed fascinated by all the new colors and sounds.  Mildly confused when CJ placed some leaves on his head.   He sat in the kelty backpack and quietly observed the world.  A few shrieks of joy sent chills down my spine.

Today my husband hikes into the Inner Canyon for a few days and Owen, Colter and I hold down the fort.  Owen has put up with Colter crawling all over him today - tugging at his ears, playing with his gums.  The pup is so exhausted he appears not to notice.  When he sneaks a peak through a sleepy eyelid, I swear I see a smile in those golden eyes. 

Colter has currently wrapped himself in a sarong and looks a bit like Mother Mary.  I look down at him and he smiles up at me with the light that only a child can show.  I am madly in love. 

Dear Colter

September 22, 2012
10 months, 4 days

What a way to start your 10th month, little one!  Hand, foot and mouth disease last week and some crazy cold/sinus/fever thing this week.  I miss my fun, chipper, vocal dude.  You have been quite the trooper though - managing a weak smile to please your Mama every now and then.  You even crawled all of 10 feet today, crying all the way, to get to me in the bathroom (I'm sorry but nature was seriously calling).  You poor, poor babe. 

I promise to make you better.  You just keep fighting, Bubba, and I promise you will be on the up-swing before you know it.  We have much to do, don't we?  Our morning walks with Owen, lunches with Papa on the back porch, mid-afternoon play sessions on the bed, helping garden....the list goes on and on!





We've had a fabulous last few months of summer.  You have 2- no 3, since one was born today! - new playmates.  What fun you will have in the coming months.  You will be the older and wiser one and I am sure you will take on the responsibility quite well.

NPS Mamas and their boys - Talbot, you & Hazard

You are such a mover, too!  Crawling, pulling to standing, climbing on bookcases and I even noticed you taking a step or two while holding on to a rail.  You will be walking in no time!  Because of this, you have kept your parents on their toes baby-proofing.  We subscribe to the "Baby-proof As You Go" method.  One of your favorites is Owen's water bowl.  You have quickly learned, "Let that be" and "No"...whether you choose to obey or not is a whole other issue!

Free!!! Escaping out the front door...

Climbing on the shelving....

Going for the top!

Thank goodness from all this movin' and jivin', you sleep like a champ.  You love to pull the blanket over your head, roll onto your belly and snooze away.  You let us know you're awake by standing, grabbing the rail of the crib and shaking.  The first time I heard it I thought there was an earthquake. 



Snooze City

A Shout Out

Kisses from Coso

July 13, 2012

7 months, 3 weeks

I could blame the fact that I have been a horrible blog writer on lack of internet access for the past month.  Or I could be honest and simply say, I’ve been busy.  Shocking, I know!

I must think about what I would write in a blog at least once a day.  This blog has become a means of journaling my journey as a mother and I someday look forward to reading back through all of these and, hopefully, reflecting on how far I’ve come.  There are weeks when I feel like the Super Mom that a few of my friends call me… and then there are weeks.

I had one of those weeks just recently.  We got back from a week with my family in New Mexico celebrating my cousin Sarah’s wedding followed by a few days in Santa Fe.  For the record, it was a grand trip (see pictures below).  But I wouldn’t call it relaxing.  In fact, that is a word I very seldom use anymore.  I have learned to cherish those few moments a day when I sit down, put my feet up and close my eyes.  They are truly splendid.

June 26 Family Hike in Sedona

Anyways… we got back and you know the phrase well:  I felt like I needed a vacation from my vacation.  1200 miles in 6 days with a 7 month old.  Colter did fabulous, CJ did fabulous, Owen did fabulous.  But no matter how fabulous it was, I was still tired.  Naturally, the week back from vacation progressed quickly and before I knew it three days had passed and I had yet to have my “Heather Time”.  With this realization, I spiraled down and down and down into “I Need Heather Time Now” mode.  With a hard-working husband who puts in crazy amounts of overtime in the summer, two dogs (we are dog sitting my sister-in-law’s dog, Coso, for a month) and a baby, I was dreaming.  I kept right on smiling and playing and cleaning and cooking and washing…

And then a saving grace: my next door neighbor.  As if sensing my growing panic at not having any time alone, she knocked on my door and offered to take Colter for an afternoon.  I think I almost cried.  She said, “Go and do something fun!”  My idea of fun?  Putting the dogs outside, taking a long shower and lying in bed and reading.  But it was just what I needed.

My realization of the month?  Being a mom means giving 100% 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  Whether you care to or not.  Why?  Because I grew that little adorable munchkin for 9 months.  And because it’s a sacrifice I want to do. Because 99.9% of the time it’s FUN.  And because 0.1% of the time I have the right to complain (just a wee little bit!).  Whatever percent you might find yourself in today - here’s a shout out to Moms!

Sweet Nothings from Mama

On to bigger and brighter things: Colter!  He is just as happy as ever.  This morning I snuck in on him in his crib.  It was the cutest sight:  stuffed animals all around him and his blankee over his head.  I swear he was just pretending to be asleep because I made the slightest sound and he whipped his blanket off from his head, perked up and gave me the biggest grin (with a “gaaa”) you ever did see.  Precious. 

He loves crowds.  He blends right in and basks in the attention.  Passed from one set of hands to another, I have a hard time keeping my eyes on the dear boy.  He does do me the honor of giving me a huge smile if he happens to see me.  Melts my heart every time.  I am the proudest Mama ever.  100% of the time.

One good lookin' family!

Hangin' with Papa in Silver City, NM

Watching the wedding with Papa

Serious concentration....

Lookin' good

Bed snuggles in Santa Fe

Santa Fe: Playing with Great Grandma

A Rainbow over the backyard

LOVE my boys!!!

Treasure Island

June 24, 2012
7 months, 1 week

A few months ago my mother obtained an “Exer-saucer” from a friend.  Generously, this friend allowed Colter to borrow said “Exer-saucer” as her child had out-grown it (and the next child is still cookin’ away inside of her).  I didn’t really know what to expect.

You have to appreciate that we live in a lovely 1200 sq ft, 2bd 2ba home.  It is perfect for all that we require in gear – with a few square feet left over for living space.  Initially CJ had a hard time letting go of bedroom numero dos as the clock ticked closer to Colter’s arrival.  But, he gave it over willingly and even took on a project of reorganizing the 2-car garage for extra storage just in the nick of time.

You would think that a wee little babe would not require much space.  And I am sure in many homes across the world, they do not.  However….we live in a culture of “stuff”.  And we have been incredibly blessed in all that we have received as hand-me-downs.  Lo and behold our “living space” quickly became filled with baby “gear”:  bouncy seat, Bumbo, swing, high chair, rocking chair, floor mat, Baby Einstein flashy thing, clothes, feeding supplies, diapers, diaper pail, random assorted toys, etc.  It is amazing how quickly a wee little one can take over your home.  Not that I mind one bit!

I was hesitant to embrace the “Exer-saucer”.  The day my parents brought it out I admit I was nervous to see CJ’s reaction.  Once the “Exer-saucer” was up and running I was terrified to face my husband.  A 3 foot wide diameter and a height of nearly 4 feet when in its fully glory, this toy is not kidding around.  It has colors, textures and sounds that will blow your mind.  The first time I looked at it I thought I might have a seizure.  CJ?  Smiled politely and walked away.

More important than CJ and Heather:  Colter.  From the instant he first laid eyes on it, it was love at first sight.  The first few weeks he was learning the device.  Now?  He can rock, roll, jump, scream and laugh all at once.  Seriously impressive.  He almost always has a poo, too.

My uncle, Karl, came to visit and he appropriately named it “Treasure Island”.  The name has stuck and sometimes I think I hear my boy singing the words as he jumps with glee.  With the new name, CJ and I have learned to embrace the eye-sore that lives in our living room/dining room/ family room (and even migrates into the kitchen at times).  Just today I heard my husband say something I never thought I would: “I take it all back about Treasure Island.  I love that thing.  It’s a total life saver.” 

I have quickly come to realize that I do not remember life before Treasure Island.  It has and always will be a mother’s best friend.

Love You Forever

June 6, 2012
6 months, a few weeks

Me and my boy

A friend of mine here at the Canyon just had her first baby, a boy, last week.  I went to visit her yesterday.  I took one look at her darling, 5 lb 14 oz boy and started tearing up.  He was so tiny.  Is it possible that at one point Colter weighed 6 lbs and some ounces?!  The new mother remarked, "I just can't believe that I can love something so much immediately!"  So incredibly true.  And I can't believe that I can love my baby more today than I did yesterday and tomorrow more than today. 

It reminds me of one of my favoritist (yes, it is a word!) books, Love You Forever.  I cry every time I read it.  I cried before I had a child.  I cry way more now that I have one.  Can you imagine what I will be like when I have another child?  Just try not to cry with words like these:

Softly she sings to him:
"I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."

Another friend of mine is due mid-July.  We had dinner with her and her husband last week.  I spent way too much time rubbing her belly.  (Don't worry, it was welcome rubbing!)  I even caught myself a few times rubbing my not-so-hard-post-baby belly.  It's not that I really want another baby right now.  Colter is just perfect and I love giving him my undivided attention.  It's just that this pregnant thing is contagious.  Shhh.  Don't tell my husband. ;-)

Colter started a new "phase" a few days ago.  He has decided that it is the funniest thing EVER to spit his food out.  Not just spit - spray.  The spray distance is impressive for such a tiny little human.  I take pride in the food stuck on my clothing and in my hair.  I'm a MOM.





If I ruled the world...

May 12, 2012
5 months, 3 weeks

I'm a nurse.  I've seen some amazing poos in my day.  In fact, you could call me a professional butt cleaner.  You may laugh or cringe, perhaps, but I am proud of this skill.  Plus, it has proved quite useful in cleaning up little baby poos - which for the record are NOTHING compared to what I have seen.  Until this morning, that is.

It was Diaper Change-Thirty at the Malcolm household.  Colter has recently discovered the joys of avocado and downed half an avo at yesterday's evening feeding.  Down on the changing mat he went and I whipped open the velcro hooks of his turquoise cloth diaper.  The next few moments were a blur.  I believe it went something like this: Poo covered and exploded out from all regions of the diaper.  Colter's curious little hands grabbed the dirty diaper and somehow managed to fling it to the right.  In the meantime, the pulling motion knocked the poo off of the diaper and onto his legs and socks.  By the grace of God, I managed to catch it before it did any serious damage to surrounding furniture.  Of course then Colter started happily screeching, kicking his legs frantically and spastically throwing his arms around.  In usual circumstances, this is incredibly cute.  But when my child has poo on his butt, legs, socks and hands I am not so easily distracted.

With an ordinary poo, I pride myself in using just one wipe - 2 in the most severe instances.  I used 4 wipes with this poo.  I'd hate to see what a 5-wipe poo looks like.  Although I am sure I will someday. Thank goodness for my BumGenius diaper sprayer.

Good morning, World!

Along the lines of changing, I have discovered that snaps can be just plain annoying.  Yes, they are functional.  You just try snapping 12 snaps with the wiggly, giggly, piggly Colter bean.  If I ruled the world?  Outfits would have a limit of 6 snaps.  If you can't do it in six, don't do it at all. 

I have been working Mondays.  It is a nice break from being a mom.  I get to talk with adults and challenge my mind (playing patty cake just doesn't quite do it all the time).  And CJ enjoys a "Papa-Colter Day".  I love hearing about their adventures at the end of the day.  Anything goes on Mondays.  I think it is helping to make our baby boy well-rounded.  Adventurous.  Flexible.  Talkative hehe. 

I remember one day I came home and my boys (CJ, Colter and Owen) were all hanging out in the garage.  Colter was strapped to Cjs chest in the Bjorn.  Something just didn't look quite right:  Colter's pants were on backwards.  I smiled and kissed my dear sweet husband.  He said, "I know they are.  He doesn't care."  In fact, I bet Colter enjoyed it.  How often in your life can you go around with your pants on backwards?  I can imagine him in a few years, "But, Mooooom, Dad lets me put my pants on backwards!"  Haha :-)

Hands down, I had one of the best days of my life on Wednesday.  We built our very first garden from the ground up.  Everything about the whole day was perfect - even our brief argument when trying to square the sides (for the record, I was right....but who's keeping tally anyway!?).  It was Family Garden Day.  We made a 5x7 planter box that is thoroughly protected from any creatures - big or small - that might want to enjoy our goods.  We planted flowers, lettuce, carrots, zucchini, cilantro.....Colter loved the pansies.  Owen just wanted to play and kept dropping his ball into our garden.  My diapers hung drying in the sun and Tom Petty played in the background.  Sigh.

If I ruled the world, every day would be Family Garden Day.