Dear Colter

September 22, 2012
10 months, 4 days

What a way to start your 10th month, little one!  Hand, foot and mouth disease last week and some crazy cold/sinus/fever thing this week.  I miss my fun, chipper, vocal dude.  You have been quite the trooper though - managing a weak smile to please your Mama every now and then.  You even crawled all of 10 feet today, crying all the way, to get to me in the bathroom (I'm sorry but nature was seriously calling).  You poor, poor babe. 

I promise to make you better.  You just keep fighting, Bubba, and I promise you will be on the up-swing before you know it.  We have much to do, don't we?  Our morning walks with Owen, lunches with Papa on the back porch, mid-afternoon play sessions on the bed, helping garden....the list goes on and on!





We've had a fabulous last few months of summer.  You have 2- no 3, since one was born today! - new playmates.  What fun you will have in the coming months.  You will be the older and wiser one and I am sure you will take on the responsibility quite well.

NPS Mamas and their boys - Talbot, you & Hazard

You are such a mover, too!  Crawling, pulling to standing, climbing on bookcases and I even noticed you taking a step or two while holding on to a rail.  You will be walking in no time!  Because of this, you have kept your parents on their toes baby-proofing.  We subscribe to the "Baby-proof As You Go" method.  One of your favorites is Owen's water bowl.  You have quickly learned, "Let that be" and "No"...whether you choose to obey or not is a whole other issue!

Free!!! Escaping out the front door...

Climbing on the shelving....

Going for the top!

Thank goodness from all this movin' and jivin', you sleep like a champ.  You love to pull the blanket over your head, roll onto your belly and snooze away.  You let us know you're awake by standing, grabbing the rail of the crib and shaking.  The first time I heard it I thought there was an earthquake. 



Snooze City

A Shout Out

Kisses from Coso

July 13, 2012

7 months, 3 weeks

I could blame the fact that I have been a horrible blog writer on lack of internet access for the past month.  Or I could be honest and simply say, I’ve been busy.  Shocking, I know!

I must think about what I would write in a blog at least once a day.  This blog has become a means of journaling my journey as a mother and I someday look forward to reading back through all of these and, hopefully, reflecting on how far I’ve come.  There are weeks when I feel like the Super Mom that a few of my friends call me… and then there are weeks.

I had one of those weeks just recently.  We got back from a week with my family in New Mexico celebrating my cousin Sarah’s wedding followed by a few days in Santa Fe.  For the record, it was a grand trip (see pictures below).  But I wouldn’t call it relaxing.  In fact, that is a word I very seldom use anymore.  I have learned to cherish those few moments a day when I sit down, put my feet up and close my eyes.  They are truly splendid.

June 26 Family Hike in Sedona

Anyways… we got back and you know the phrase well:  I felt like I needed a vacation from my vacation.  1200 miles in 6 days with a 7 month old.  Colter did fabulous, CJ did fabulous, Owen did fabulous.  But no matter how fabulous it was, I was still tired.  Naturally, the week back from vacation progressed quickly and before I knew it three days had passed and I had yet to have my “Heather Time”.  With this realization, I spiraled down and down and down into “I Need Heather Time Now” mode.  With a hard-working husband who puts in crazy amounts of overtime in the summer, two dogs (we are dog sitting my sister-in-law’s dog, Coso, for a month) and a baby, I was dreaming.  I kept right on smiling and playing and cleaning and cooking and washing…

And then a saving grace: my next door neighbor.  As if sensing my growing panic at not having any time alone, she knocked on my door and offered to take Colter for an afternoon.  I think I almost cried.  She said, “Go and do something fun!”  My idea of fun?  Putting the dogs outside, taking a long shower and lying in bed and reading.  But it was just what I needed.

My realization of the month?  Being a mom means giving 100% 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  Whether you care to or not.  Why?  Because I grew that little adorable munchkin for 9 months.  And because it’s a sacrifice I want to do. Because 99.9% of the time it’s FUN.  And because 0.1% of the time I have the right to complain (just a wee little bit!).  Whatever percent you might find yourself in today - here’s a shout out to Moms!

Sweet Nothings from Mama

On to bigger and brighter things: Colter!  He is just as happy as ever.  This morning I snuck in on him in his crib.  It was the cutest sight:  stuffed animals all around him and his blankee over his head.  I swear he was just pretending to be asleep because I made the slightest sound and he whipped his blanket off from his head, perked up and gave me the biggest grin (with a “gaaa”) you ever did see.  Precious. 

He loves crowds.  He blends right in and basks in the attention.  Passed from one set of hands to another, I have a hard time keeping my eyes on the dear boy.  He does do me the honor of giving me a huge smile if he happens to see me.  Melts my heart every time.  I am the proudest Mama ever.  100% of the time.

One good lookin' family!

Hangin' with Papa in Silver City, NM

Watching the wedding with Papa

Serious concentration....

Lookin' good

Bed snuggles in Santa Fe

Santa Fe: Playing with Great Grandma

A Rainbow over the backyard

LOVE my boys!!!

Treasure Island

June 24, 2012
7 months, 1 week

A few months ago my mother obtained an “Exer-saucer” from a friend.  Generously, this friend allowed Colter to borrow said “Exer-saucer” as her child had out-grown it (and the next child is still cookin’ away inside of her).  I didn’t really know what to expect.

You have to appreciate that we live in a lovely 1200 sq ft, 2bd 2ba home.  It is perfect for all that we require in gear – with a few square feet left over for living space.  Initially CJ had a hard time letting go of bedroom numero dos as the clock ticked closer to Colter’s arrival.  But, he gave it over willingly and even took on a project of reorganizing the 2-car garage for extra storage just in the nick of time.

You would think that a wee little babe would not require much space.  And I am sure in many homes across the world, they do not.  However….we live in a culture of “stuff”.  And we have been incredibly blessed in all that we have received as hand-me-downs.  Lo and behold our “living space” quickly became filled with baby “gear”:  bouncy seat, Bumbo, swing, high chair, rocking chair, floor mat, Baby Einstein flashy thing, clothes, feeding supplies, diapers, diaper pail, random assorted toys, etc.  It is amazing how quickly a wee little one can take over your home.  Not that I mind one bit!

I was hesitant to embrace the “Exer-saucer”.  The day my parents brought it out I admit I was nervous to see CJ’s reaction.  Once the “Exer-saucer” was up and running I was terrified to face my husband.  A 3 foot wide diameter and a height of nearly 4 feet when in its fully glory, this toy is not kidding around.  It has colors, textures and sounds that will blow your mind.  The first time I looked at it I thought I might have a seizure.  CJ?  Smiled politely and walked away.

More important than CJ and Heather:  Colter.  From the instant he first laid eyes on it, it was love at first sight.  The first few weeks he was learning the device.  Now?  He can rock, roll, jump, scream and laugh all at once.  Seriously impressive.  He almost always has a poo, too.

My uncle, Karl, came to visit and he appropriately named it “Treasure Island”.  The name has stuck and sometimes I think I hear my boy singing the words as he jumps with glee.  With the new name, CJ and I have learned to embrace the eye-sore that lives in our living room/dining room/ family room (and even migrates into the kitchen at times).  Just today I heard my husband say something I never thought I would: “I take it all back about Treasure Island.  I love that thing.  It’s a total life saver.” 

I have quickly come to realize that I do not remember life before Treasure Island.  It has and always will be a mother’s best friend.

Love You Forever

June 6, 2012
6 months, a few weeks

Me and my boy

A friend of mine here at the Canyon just had her first baby, a boy, last week.  I went to visit her yesterday.  I took one look at her darling, 5 lb 14 oz boy and started tearing up.  He was so tiny.  Is it possible that at one point Colter weighed 6 lbs and some ounces?!  The new mother remarked, "I just can't believe that I can love something so much immediately!"  So incredibly true.  And I can't believe that I can love my baby more today than I did yesterday and tomorrow more than today. 

It reminds me of one of my favoritist (yes, it is a word!) books, Love You Forever.  I cry every time I read it.  I cried before I had a child.  I cry way more now that I have one.  Can you imagine what I will be like when I have another child?  Just try not to cry with words like these:

Softly she sings to him:
"I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."

Another friend of mine is due mid-July.  We had dinner with her and her husband last week.  I spent way too much time rubbing her belly.  (Don't worry, it was welcome rubbing!)  I even caught myself a few times rubbing my not-so-hard-post-baby belly.  It's not that I really want another baby right now.  Colter is just perfect and I love giving him my undivided attention.  It's just that this pregnant thing is contagious.  Shhh.  Don't tell my husband. ;-)

Colter started a new "phase" a few days ago.  He has decided that it is the funniest thing EVER to spit his food out.  Not just spit - spray.  The spray distance is impressive for such a tiny little human.  I take pride in the food stuck on my clothing and in my hair.  I'm a MOM.





If I ruled the world...

May 12, 2012
5 months, 3 weeks

I'm a nurse.  I've seen some amazing poos in my day.  In fact, you could call me a professional butt cleaner.  You may laugh or cringe, perhaps, but I am proud of this skill.  Plus, it has proved quite useful in cleaning up little baby poos - which for the record are NOTHING compared to what I have seen.  Until this morning, that is.

It was Diaper Change-Thirty at the Malcolm household.  Colter has recently discovered the joys of avocado and downed half an avo at yesterday's evening feeding.  Down on the changing mat he went and I whipped open the velcro hooks of his turquoise cloth diaper.  The next few moments were a blur.  I believe it went something like this: Poo covered and exploded out from all regions of the diaper.  Colter's curious little hands grabbed the dirty diaper and somehow managed to fling it to the right.  In the meantime, the pulling motion knocked the poo off of the diaper and onto his legs and socks.  By the grace of God, I managed to catch it before it did any serious damage to surrounding furniture.  Of course then Colter started happily screeching, kicking his legs frantically and spastically throwing his arms around.  In usual circumstances, this is incredibly cute.  But when my child has poo on his butt, legs, socks and hands I am not so easily distracted.

With an ordinary poo, I pride myself in using just one wipe - 2 in the most severe instances.  I used 4 wipes with this poo.  I'd hate to see what a 5-wipe poo looks like.  Although I am sure I will someday. Thank goodness for my BumGenius diaper sprayer.

Good morning, World!

Along the lines of changing, I have discovered that snaps can be just plain annoying.  Yes, they are functional.  You just try snapping 12 snaps with the wiggly, giggly, piggly Colter bean.  If I ruled the world?  Outfits would have a limit of 6 snaps.  If you can't do it in six, don't do it at all. 

I have been working Mondays.  It is a nice break from being a mom.  I get to talk with adults and challenge my mind (playing patty cake just doesn't quite do it all the time).  And CJ enjoys a "Papa-Colter Day".  I love hearing about their adventures at the end of the day.  Anything goes on Mondays.  I think it is helping to make our baby boy well-rounded.  Adventurous.  Flexible.  Talkative hehe. 

I remember one day I came home and my boys (CJ, Colter and Owen) were all hanging out in the garage.  Colter was strapped to Cjs chest in the Bjorn.  Something just didn't look quite right:  Colter's pants were on backwards.  I smiled and kissed my dear sweet husband.  He said, "I know they are.  He doesn't care."  In fact, I bet Colter enjoyed it.  How often in your life can you go around with your pants on backwards?  I can imagine him in a few years, "But, Mooooom, Dad lets me put my pants on backwards!"  Haha :-)

Hands down, I had one of the best days of my life on Wednesday.  We built our very first garden from the ground up.  Everything about the whole day was perfect - even our brief argument when trying to square the sides (for the record, I was right....but who's keeping tally anyway!?).  It was Family Garden Day.  We made a 5x7 planter box that is thoroughly protected from any creatures - big or small - that might want to enjoy our goods.  We planted flowers, lettuce, carrots, zucchini, cilantro.....Colter loved the pansies.  Owen just wanted to play and kept dropping his ball into our garden.  My diapers hung drying in the sun and Tom Petty played in the background.  Sigh.

If I ruled the world, every day would be Family Garden Day.

A Good Day

April 26, 2012
5 months & a week or so

I received my very first Mother's Day card in the mail today - along with a wonderful hand knit sweater for my boy.  Isn't amazing how timing works sometimes?  I was having one of those not-so-great Mom days.  Colter, a gem all morning long, was down for a nap but I was just dragging along attempting to cram way too much into my day.   This is standard.  Just ask CJ. 

The card was perfect.  It gave me that much needed STOP in my day to remember that I really am making a difference.  That I am accomplishing a great deal.   I even had a few tears come to my eyes.  It felt good.  The card:

On your first mother's day
Celebrate all the dreams taking shape...
All the beautiful to-be's and fun to-do's...
All the moments and imaginings big, small and extraordinary...
Celebrate all the joys in your heart,
and have a very happy mother's day.

It reminded me of how incredibly blessed and thankful I am that I get 6 days a week with my boy.  And the 7th he spends with his Papa.  I am there when he first wakes up, I am there to put him to bed and I am there for every in between (yes, even those wonderful, endless minutes of wailing upon occasion!).

Colter's new favorite past time:  anything involving his feet.  He can quite impressively chew on his toes (although only during diaper changes when the voluminous cloth diapers come off).  He grabs his feet, brings them in and giggles as he sucks and gnaws on his toes.  I wish I knew was he was thinking.  I can only imagine how amusing this must be - especially for a baby who most likely forgets that he has toes to chew on.  :-)

Toes: A convenient delicacy

The boy also loves to take off his socks.  Sometimes I really believe he is doing it just to annoy his Mama.  He'll pull and pull and then Whoop!  sock is off and straight to his mouth (can you tell someone is in an oral stage?!).  Then he'll look at me with this sly little grin almost as if saying, "What are you gonna do about that, Mom?!"  Naturally it always leads to an attack from The Tickle Monster which sends him in a fit of giggles.  These are the day to day challenges I must deal with.  Hehe ;-)

He can successfully roll from belly to back.  Both a good and a bad thing.  He can now quickly sneak out of the dreaded "Tummy Time".  This only means I have to get more creative with barriers to keep him from his beloved back - where he can then kick, screech, suck on toes, pull off socks and roll from side to side as his leisure. 

Hangin' by the Owens River, Owens Valley, CA

Colter dove into the world of food about a week ago.  The going is slow thus far.  Rice cereal and carrots (pureed, naturally) are the extent of his diet outside of breast milk.  Some nights he is hungrier than others and I am valiantly trying to find the right combo and time frame to feed him so that he will sleep through the night.  He has an 8 hour stretch but still requires a 4am feed to make it till morning.  He is intrigued with the new tastes, for the most part, and thinks it is quite fun to eat.  Who am I kidding?  Colter thinks everything is fun.  He is my happy go-lucky boy.  I love it.  It's contagious.

We took a road trip to Ridgecrest for Easter with CJ's dad and sisters.  Colter was the center of attention.  He sat in his Bumbo seat in the middle of the kitchen and loved watching everyone cook - especially since he had almost constant attention.  He best get used to the wonderful, loud nature of the Malcolm get-togethers.  I'd say he is right on track.

Watching his first Sunday morning cartoons...in his PJs!

We escaped up to Mammoth for a night and stopped by the Owens River on our way back to Ridgecrest.  It was a glorious spring afternoon:  Owen swam in his namesake, Colter giggled in the 30 mph winds, CJ skinny dipped and I.....well, I sat and counted my blessings.  But there were too many so I stopped, swooped up my boy and laughed with him as the warm wind brushed across my face.  It was a good day to be a mom.

A Good Day

The Puffer

April 4, 2012
4 months and some change

Last night, during our nightly "cuddle time", CJ presented the idea of having a bbq for the helicopter training class he is in this week:

CJ:  I was thinking of having a few people over for a bbq tomorrow.

Me: *Trying with every ounce of my being not to say no* Oh, that sounds like fun.  How many people?

CJ:  Probably around 20.  But we'll keep it really simple.  It'll be fun. (Always positive!)

Me: *Secretly squealing inside* Oh, that sounds like fun.  20 people, eh?

For the record, I don't do simple.  Not in my vocabulary.  Especially with a 4 month old.

So, this morning as I was tidying up the house in between batches of chocolate chip cookies, I managed a minute to pick up my Parents magazine.  I flipped through it and this month, well actually it is last month's, it highlights the best parenting blogs.  One of them, Ain't No Mom Jeans, was voted best fashion blog.  I briefly read the excerpt in the magazine and couldn't help but laugh.  The title? "Wear a Puffer Vest (and Hide a Poochy Stomach!!)".  I had to laugh because this is EXACTLY what I have been doing all winter.  CJ bought me this fabulous patagucci turquoise down vest for Christmas and I have been living in it.  As the blog states, "If you can find a puffer that you can juuuuuust barely zip up-that's the perfect fit for pooch training."  Love it!

The Puffer:  Every Mom's Savior

But I have a new dilemma.  Winter is no longer here.  The days are getting warmer.  And I still have a pooch.  Take for instance this coming weekend - Easter.  We are adventuring to Ridgecrest to be with the family.  It should be wonderful and warm, around 80.  As much as I love my Puffer, I think I would look a bit odd.  Even if the color is very Easter-esque.

Accordingly, this morning I decided to try on dresses.  I laid Colter on the bed and proceeded to give him his very first fashion show.  Time and time again I strutted my stuff for him and time and time again he giggled in hysterics.  I am not sure what that means for me and my pooch.  They main problem remains to be not my pooch (incredibly enough!) but my boobs.  Dresses that looked cute on me just over a year ago now manage to make me look like a dominatrix.  Certainly not appropriate for Easter with the fam.  And probably not appropriate even for a breastfed 4 month olds eyes. 

The Puffer is looking better and better....

I'm having a good day so far.  I may give my hubby crap about throwing a party last minute but, honestly, it's fun.  Living in the middle of nowhere one can easily slip into Never Never Land.  Not today.  Today we are having firefighters from San Bernardino in our home.  Is it sad that it makes me feel more worldly?!

Ultimately?  You have CJ to thank for planning a simple party for a mere 20 people so that his wife found the magazine and was inspired to write today's blog.

Reference: aintnomomjeans.com